BIG HEAD

People- lovers say that there is something called love language. You know the different ways to show love that resonates with your partner.  In fact, they say that the inability of a partner to understand the love language of another partner, cam lead to a lot of friction in the relationship.

The five love languages are: 

a.Words of affirmation

b. Acts of service

c.Receiving gifts

d. Quality time

e.Physical touch

In this five love languages, many Nigerians think that the one that is most responded to by Nigerians is receiving gifts. However this can be argued if the opinions and pulse on social media can be used as a yard stick.

Let us take a tweet as an example. A tweet where a woman complains about how much her husband neglects house chores usually has a lot of engagement. Under the comment, you would find a lot of women agreeing, and some lamenting the neglect that they face at home by their partner, who they expect to help them around the house.

A woman will usually appreciate simple gestures like picking the children’s toys from the living room, bathing the children to school, assisting in dressing the children up, anytime there is a party or church service, washing the dishes and just doing some little stuff at home. Can we therefore conclude that Nigerian women aside receiving gifts, also appreciates acts of service. Everyone likes being assisted. Can we then conclude that act of service is everyone’s love language?

The experts will choose to differ. 

One love language that excites me is words of affirmation. This is because here in Nigeria, there are various unique ways that lovers use to affirm their love for each other.

Let us call it the Nigerian love language

“ODE” this is a word with Yoruba origin. It is used to describe someone who has no sense. More like a stupid person. It is a word that is commonly used in Lagos. The use of the word is dependent on the countenance and tone in which it is said. Example; “you be ode” if this is said in an angry tone, it is a very serious insult. The person is saying you are very stupid.  However, between lovers, it is a phrase that says the relationship is getting serious. In fact, lovers do not usually call themselves ode, until they are comfortable with each other. Here is how lovers would say it among themselves: “ode leave me joor”

“BIGHEAD” big head is a lingua that is very synonymous with lovers in Nigeria. People who are in a secret relationship do not dare to call their partners big head in public. Even when they post a picture on social media, they refrain from calling them big head. The reason is that, whenever you call someone big head, it is proof that you have something for them. In some quarters, ladies use it as a pick up line, to show they have interest in you, or to prove that you have a space in their heart.

Other synonyms that are used to affirm love includes: FISH and MUMU.this is widely used by the younger generation.

Amongst the older generation of Nigerian lovers, affirming love words are usually “MUMMY” and “DADDY” the man calls his lover mummy, while the woman calls her lover daddy. This is usually common when they are married, and their children are older. it is used to show respect. couples who call themselves these, have over the years developed a loving respect for each other.

Away from just pet names, Nigerian lovers also praise themselves. This is usually done in our own style too. Example: “babe, this your soup sweet” “ah ah babe, this your hair set” “daddy, your mum is beautiful” “mummy, our Kemi has your fine nose” e.t.c

This is not to say that lovers do not call themselves other pet names like: Honey, Sweetheart, Sweet, Hubby, babes, boo, bae and some other western pet names. but, there is a Nigerian way to show love.

Image source:
1st image: freaking news
2nd image: pixabay

                                                                                                          

Written by Mary-Jane Nkechi