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People- lovers say that there is something called
love language. You know the different ways to show love that resonates with
your partner. In fact, they say that the
inability of a partner to understand the love language of another partner, cam
lead to a lot of friction in the relationship.
The five love languages are:
a.Words of affirmation
b. Acts of service
c.Receiving gifts
d. Quality time
e.Physical touch
In this five love languages, many Nigerians think that the
one that is most responded to by Nigerians is receiving gifts. However this can
be argued if the opinions and pulse on social media can be used as a yard stick.
Let us take a tweet as an example. A tweet where a woman
complains about how much her husband neglects house chores usually has a lot of
engagement. Under the comment, you would find a lot of women agreeing, and some
lamenting the neglect that they face at home by their partner, who they expect
to help them around the house.
A woman will usually appreciate simple gestures like picking
the children’s toys from the living room, bathing the children to school,
assisting in dressing the children up, anytime there is a party or church
service, washing the dishes and just doing some little stuff at home. Can we
therefore conclude that Nigerian women aside receiving gifts, also appreciates
acts of service. Everyone likes being assisted. Can we then conclude that act of
service is everyone’s love language?
The experts will choose to differ.
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One love language that
excites me is words of affirmation. This is because here in Nigeria, there are
various unique ways that lovers use to affirm their love for each other.
Let us call it the Nigerian love language
“ODE” this is a word with Yoruba origin. It is used to
describe someone who has no sense. More like a stupid person. It is a word that
is commonly used in Lagos. The use of the word is dependent on the countenance
and tone in which it is said. Example; “you be ode” if this is said in an angry
tone, it is a very serious insult. The person is saying you are very stupid. However, between lovers, it is a phrase that
says the relationship is getting serious. In fact, lovers do not usually call themselves
ode, until they are comfortable with each other. Here is how lovers would say
it among themselves: “ode leave me joor”
“BIGHEAD” big head is a lingua that is very synonymous with
lovers in Nigeria. People who are in a secret relationship do not dare to call
their partners big head in public. Even when they post a picture on social
media, they refrain from calling them big head. The reason is that, whenever
you call someone big head, it is proof that you have something for them. In
some quarters, ladies use it as a pick up line, to show they have interest in
you, or to prove that you have a space in their heart.
Other synonyms that are used to affirm love includes: FISH
and MUMU.this is widely used by the younger generation.
Amongst the older generation of Nigerian lovers, affirming
love words are usually “MUMMY” and “DADDY” the man calls his lover mummy, while
the woman calls her lover daddy. This is usually common when they are married,
and their children are older. it is used to show respect. couples who call themselves these, have over the years developed a loving respect for each other.
Away from just pet names, Nigerian lovers also praise
themselves. This is usually done in our own style too. Example: “babe, this
your soup sweet” “ah ah babe, this your hair set” “daddy, your mum is beautiful”
“mummy, our Kemi has your fine nose” e.t.c
This is not to say that lovers do not call themselves other
pet names like: Honey, Sweetheart, Sweet, Hubby, babes, boo, bae and some other
western pet names. but, there is a Nigerian way to show love.
Image source:
1st image: freaking news
2nd image: pixabay
Image source:
1st image: freaking news
2nd image: pixabay
